


like a love shattered

by Clovering_Clover



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sheith Big Meme 2019, aka obligatory what if Keith rammed into the power shield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 06:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18686341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clovering_Clover/pseuds/Clovering_Clover
Summary: "Before he leaves the two alone, he asked Kolivan where Keith was as he wasn’t in the interrogation nor the meeting that followed after that. He said that the members are still looking for the missing members who may have gotten astray due to the blast of the power barrier getting destroyed.He may have seen Allura flinched next to Kolivan."





	like a love shattered

**Author's Note:**

> Finally finished! This is for the Sheith Big Meme where artist becomes the writer and writer becomes artist owo. This the first time I've written a fic and wow I've already admired writers from the first day, but experiencing it from their side boosts up even more of that respect.
> 
> Many thanks to my artist [Ahhuya](https://twitter.com/Ahhuya) for being extremely patient with me as I waddle through the whole story plus Ao3. Check out her [art](https://twitter.com/Ahhuya/status/1124330671525310464) in her Twitter!
> 
> Just be wary since everything is unbetaed just like the doctor prescribed.

### 1

‘Good job, Keith.’

 

Silence. Only the sound of static replies to him.

Whatever stunt Keith has pulled to take down the power shield might have caused some damage to his communication system. Or...

He glances at the cruiser again, still descending from where it was hiding while the battle was rearing its ugliest head.

He’ll check on Keith later. For now there are more pressing matters to focus on. The newcomer has entered with a shot that halted all movements in the battlefield.

 

Prince Lotor had surrendered himself and was requesting to join the alliance.

 

\---

There were _‘attempts’_ of pleasantries from Lotor, especially towards Allura. Though they all fell into deaf ears. The scale of damage and losses caused by him were too great to set aside. Just as soon as they’ve all touched the docking bay floor, Allura scrambles out of the Blue Lion and ran up to him, one hand flying to yank his arm and the other hand thrusting a pair of handcuffs in the yanked hand. His eyes locked on to her frantic ones.

 

She squeezed his arm before she hisses; ‘lock him up. Ask Coran where the holding cell is, and go start without me.’, all while her eyes kept darting towards the slowly closing overhead gate. He can see four light dents on the armguard where the Princess lets go. Coran and Lance tried to ask where she was heading off to, but she kept her brisk pace towards Blue, and flew off again before the gates have closed.  At the corner of his eyes, he caught Lotor’s flared eyes following the Princess’ departure before he hides it with a dip of his head.

 

‘Paladins.’ Shiro turned around. Captain Olia stood in front of him, goggles off which fully shows her devastated expression. The rebel team got hit the hardest and there was no shortage of grief to be shared. A quick glance around the docking bay tells there’s a little less than half that managed to get back. ‘I’ve got some groups stranded from the blast of the shield, so we won’t be able to join the interrogation. Send us a message when you and the Blade of Marmora are done.’

 

Shiro nods. They can’t do much at current moment. The Blades are still en route and Allura just took off. Was it due to nerves? Meeting the son of the one who destroyed her home planet? He frowns. No, it doesn’t seem like her to tuck tail. She has ramped all of them up with caution when they managed to get a hold of Lotor, and she has never backed down any diplomacy; especially of _this_ importance.

 

‘Coran, can you show us the place?’ He’ll ask her when she gets back. For now they can only wait.

 

\---

 

Allura came back when Captain Olia sets up to return to their base, with Matt following close to her heels and both looking aghast. How did he momentarily forgot Matt?

 

‘Hey!’ Shiro waved, ‘Matt!’

 

Matt flinched. He gave a weak wave and wiry smile towards his directions, failing to meet his eyes. He gave a nod to Allura before scurrying off to his ship and follows the rest of the rebel team. That… made all of his words vanished.

 

He took a shaky breath. And another. But the murky feeling squeezing his lungs just tightens even more.The unease that crawls under his skin can be excused due to Lotor, but the one that rattles his core is something else; caused by the Princess’ previous behaviour and how Matt’s just screams guilt. Wasn’t he a reliable person that they can lean onto? He’s the leader of this ragtag team and thus all information, important or not must be relayed to him, right?

 

Shiro froze.

 

.. No. That doesn’t sound right. That’s not how he leads. Or is it? His head is starting to hurt. How did he lead before? If it was different, then where did these-

 

‘Paladins,’ it’s like a deja vu but with the speaker has a deeper voice. Shiro blinks. His brain belatedly registers the pair of shoes at the top of his vision. When did he faced the floor? He follows the black greaves, up to the ends of a familiar grey hem on black tunic: a senior Blade’s uniform.

 

Tilting his head up, he meets Kolivan’s eyes. If he’s here, that means the rest of the Blades has finally arrived.

And if Shiro recalls correctly, Keith was in Kolivan’s group.

 

Letting out a cough to orient himself, he shuffles his stance; rolling back his shoulders, feet shoulder length apart. The pose of a leader in control, his mind supplies. He can deal with inner turmoils later. There’s always more pressing matters when it comes to war, and weakness isn’t one of them.

 

\---

When both groups have finished wrapping up with Lotor, Allura called to Kolivan that she wanted to talk to him. _Privately_ , she stressed when he offers to join her. He hopes Allura excused his eyes that almost popped out of his skull. After Keith’s confession with his newly discovered lineage, Allura has been on the road of improvement, though she still shows hesitancy and a delay to reply to the Blade members.

 

Before he leaves the two alone, he asked Kolivan where Keith was as he wasn’t in the interrogation nor the meeting that followed after that. He said that the members are still looking for the missing members who may have gotten astray due to the blast of the power barrier getting destroyed.

 

He may have seen Allura flinched next to Kolivan.

 

### 2

Shiro can only gape at Keith standing tall in front of the pod. It’s been too long since he’s seen him face-to-face, but two months cannot result in Keith’s overall change. For one, he’s certainly taller than he remembered, as his eyes meets Keith’s frown instead of his eyes. Long black locks two or three inches longer, some sections ends lined up straight as if someone took a pair of scissors (or a knife) and just chopped it.

His eyes trails lower, following jaws that has gained sharper edges, still slim neck with more prominent cords of muscle, how squaring up his stance makes his shoulders even broader, and in consequence his che-

 

Shiro immediately snapped his gaze to Keith’s face.

Which just adds another mistake he has done in the span of five minutes.  His brain stutters to yet another stop when he meets his eyes.

 

Once upon a time, when he saw those eyes in the small classroom, they were feral, tired, ready to fight against the world. An ember that’s threatened to flicker out.  How in the garrison he would always look up to Shiro when his eyes clouds in uncertainty. The resignment when he sits in front of the office.

 

This Keith’s eyes houses a different set of fire. It roars with confidence in himself, calm in a newly profound patience. Shiro doesn’t know what happened in the two months, but the Keith he has taken under his wings have fully grown his own set.

 

‘K-Keith. It’s so good to have you back’. Nailed it.

 

Lance’s appraisal didn’t help at all, calling this new Keith a ‘bigger, cooler, grizzlier older brother’ of Keith. Though you won’t find Shiro complaining about it as all of those descriptions are right. He may also think Keith is _glowing_ , but maybe it's just him being overwhelmed with his growth spurt.

 

But as much as they want to continue the reunion, Keith came with a mission. Three of them, counting Keith’s passengers that came out with him. A tall Galran woman who has familiar shade of eyes and face, and an Altean, to the excitement of Coran.

 

‘We need to stop Lotor.’

 

\---

 

Shiro extends his hand towards her- _Krolia_ , as Keith has said. “Welcome to the Castle, I am the Black Paladin, My name is Shiro.’

 

He did not expect the scathing look she gave him just as his name fell out of his mouth. Jaws tightens more as if she’s fighting against deepening the scowl as she glares at his outstretched hand for a moment, before shaking it once in a crushing grip that made him thankful he offered his right arm. Keith has definitely gotten his sour side from her. Like mother like son. Maybe it’s a Galran trait.

 

When Keith’s Altean guest- Romelle, are given the spotlight to tell her story, they dived into the reason why they immediately sought out Lotor and revealed the dark truth about him. ‘Saving’ the remaining Alteans that has gone on hiding after Zarkon attacked, how Lotor cherry picked the Alteans for a second colony, her only remaining family member taken away from her.

Her brother who got excommunicated, who came back in a wrecked ship and pruned, hanging onto the last thread of life.

The lie of the second colony.

Finding the base on the orbiting moon, to find her people in tanks. Being _harvested_ for their life essence.

 

Everything then escalated from there. Allura and Lotor arrived from their rift jump test with the fully completed Sincline ship, Allura heartbroken and arresting him, and the headache.

 

And the voice.

But god, the headache.

 

It’s as if his skull is splitting, white hot pain just keep escalating with each word the voice in his head keeps saying to him. The owner of the voice at the tip of his tongue that’s silenced anyway due to the pain.

 

It hurts

 

‘ _Give in_ ’

 

It hurts

 

‘ _You cannot resist_ ’

 

_It hurts_

 

‘ _You are mine_ ’

 

The pain stops.

 

### 3

‘...Shiro?’ it echoes in the astral plane, and for the first time the tears welling up are due to relief. It’s too good to hear another voice in this lonely infinite space.

 

And of course it would be Keith that found him, like a white prince in armour although the said armour is very dark gray.

 

(But something is off with him)

 

Overwhelmed, he can only let out a _‘Keith’_. He missed him too much. While Black has all of the good intentions of keeping him partially alive, the confinement slowly erodes his sanity away. There was nothing he can do; the only glimpse of the outside is when Black is activated and even then that means she’s fighting with her Paladin. Which is someone else not Keith.

Someone who looks exactly like him.

Someone who has put a painful burn on Keith’s face and the pained look on as he stares at Shiro.

His heart lurched again. He wants nothing but to get rid of that look. To take Keith into his arms and erase the mark and just hold him- _shield_ him against the world.

 

But he can’t. Not without a body. Not in this miniscule borrowed time. Keith still have a job to do and this will be the last time he can guide through it.

 

‘...Keith,’ he says softly, ‘I’m not here to harm you. Just let me explain.’ And explain he did. How the one that looks exactly like him isn’t him, his disappearance, his loss of physical form. Keith slowly eases out of his fighting stance, shoulders droops back down, his eyes shifts to understanding.

 

‘I died, Keith.’ It hurts him as much it hurts Keith to say it, if those purple eyes taken a high sheen as indication. ‘But the Black Lion somehow retained my essence.’ He hopes Black will forgive all of his verbal lashes and accepts his belated thanks and gratitude for not granting his pleas of letting him go, even if it will make it a lot easier for her. After all, housing a ghost must’ve been sapping her energy. He can tell with her lapses of weakness getting more and more frequent.

 

Which was how Shiro loses his form for a moment, leaving a panicking Keith for a brief moment.

Or maybe it’s Black’s way of pulling him aside. She gave him a pulse through his core, a mixture of worry and...

 

Condolence. It seems like he’s on the last grains of time.

 

‘Shiro, I have to get to the Paladins. I need your help.’

 

Reaching out to Keith for the last time, he gently squeezed his shoulder, savouring the nostalgia of orange and gray uniforms once upon a time ago. The last step for Keith to be able to summon Black Lion’s wings like he had is for Shiro to go so Black can scrape up all of the energy she needs. He pushes through the tears welling up in his eyes.

 

‘Keith, you can get to them, but you must see them first.’

‘But how?’

‘See through the Lion’s eyes.’

He smile, the gentlest of smile he can muster. It will be his last one.

 

‘Patience yields focus.’

As Keith leaves the realm and Shiro feels the quintessence swirling inside the Black Lion,how he’s starting to feel lighter and lighter, and his surrounding glowing brightly in purple and pink-

 

Then it hits him.

Why there’s something off with Keith.

 

‘Keith- _no,_ why are you-’

 

Keith gave him a small, watery smile. ‘I died too, Shiro’.

 

### 4

He woke up to a upside down frown. Allura’s, to be precise. He tries to remember how he ended up in his current state, laying down with his head on Allura’s lap if her face is hovering above his. Like stumbling in the middle of a sandstorm aftermath, he tries to sift through the memories he has most clarity of.

 

The sharp burning pain when he, the _original_ him, piloted Black Lion for their confrontation against Zarkon, the lack of mass nor body in the astral plane and accepting his death, waking up on the table and escaping yet another Galra facility, him reaching out to the other Paladins from inside Black, headaches after headaches, searing a bright mark on Keith’s- _Keith._

 

Panic giving him a sudden burst of energy, he lurches up, causing a faint yelp from someone. Eyes sought out for who he promised to himself to never hurt him. And he find him right next to him, close, their nose almost touching, and those purple eyes. All of the energy evaporates from him. It’s unfair how those eyes still oozes with concern. How Keith can still be physically close to him.

 

He slumps on Keith, to make sure he is still anchored to here.

 

‘You saved me.’

 

\-----

Movement is going to be sluggish for a long while. He’s moving around like a newborn fawn; he feels like his legs aren’t solid, his feet doesn’t want to support his weight, the loss of his right arm unbalanced his weight disproportion; it’s embarrassing and shameful. What kind of leader is he with cotton for brain and loosely twined twigs for body.

 

It doesn’t help that he has a chunk of memory missing yet at the same time has two perspectives on the same memory playing at the same time. He knows there’s something he need to talk about with Keith. But on what, he doesn’t know. Or he forgot. He remembers the adrenaline from Haggar’s order, remembers Keith only raising his blade to defend himself. Then waking up on Allura’s lap. All he can work on is the muted feeling of grief whenever he looks at Keith.

 

Keith. Weary Keith. Always hunched in Black’s chair with Krolia hovering around him. Shielding him. Keeping their conversations in hushed tones that Shiro can’t pick up, Krolia going to the extent of cupping her hands so he won’t be able to read her lips.

 

He doesn’t know what to do with this secrecy. Once upon a time Keith was pliant enough to share almost everything. Maybe because he now has a mother who is defiant to make up all of their lost time to be his confidante. It stings.

When Krolia comes up to him one night, he knew whatever she’ll say will be bad. Such as asking him to be moved away from Keith by hopping to the Green Lion.

 

They touchdown on a skeletal remains of a planet for a break. He saw Krolia giving Allura what seems to be the crystal on her circlet. Keith was nowhere in sight.

### 5

Him still adjusting to the new arm is his excuse when he left a wake of dents on the Atlas wall and bruises on some of the crews that were too slow on moving out of his way to the bridge. Said arm has kept shrieking in a frequency only he can hear, getting louder and louder towards the bridge and-

 

‘It’s been an honour flying with you all.’ _Keith_

 

Five brilliant streaks greets him when he managed to step onto the bridge, one colour for each Lion falling into the Earth’s atmosphere.

His right arm clangs to the floor. Overlapping noises of voices and sirens going off in front of him, reports and dispatches and informations going around him as he stares at the vanishing purple trail.

 

It was Iverson who brought his focus back,with rough hands and hauling him towards one of the dispatch group assigned for the Black Lion. He thinks Iverson is yelling at him, but he can only hear static.

 

He tried to listen to the radio in the rover. It’s not just Keith he needs to worry about. There’s Allura who plunged into the sea, Hunk who fell into one of the camps, Pidge who crashed into the forest, Lance who-

 

His thoughts went into a stop when he sees the Black Lion. Dull eyes, open mouth. Still a distance away, too far for him to run on feet. _Patience_ , he reminds himself. Even if majority of his brain screams _Keith, K e i t h._

 

He leaps out of the rover when he’s at the sprinting distance.

 

He runs inside. Darkness.

 

‘.... Keith?’

 

No body. The only sign of him even being in there is his Marmora dagger.

 

It’s not glowing.

 

He remembers. It hasn’t been glowing in their fight. It never has.

 

A small, watery smile.

  
  
  


He lost his right arm.

 

### +1

 

He knows too well he has been holed in the Atlas’ office for too long. Iverson has finally ceased his constant knockings, even the media who has stayed vigilant for him to return to the public’s eye has given up.

 

(Microphones was shoved under his nose, ‘what is the Atlas?’ they asked, after all of the Paladins have made their recovery, sans one particular member.

 

‘The carrier of the world’, he replied without a beat. ‘ _My_ _world’_ would’ve slipped out if he wasn’t then hauled by Iverson away from the cameras.)

 

Some still asks him what does his reply means. Catches him when they have learned that he will only comes out when the whole Paladins enters Atlas, speculating on how they all usher to a private lounge, any outsiders denied of entry or even a peek. To some onlookers, they look like they’re having a meeting, or a picnic reunion with how they can smell Hunk’s food containers from afar.

 

They will never know the truth behind his reply. They never knew Keith. Beautiful, and glowing Keith, still in his Marmora Blade uniform, will always wait for them in the lounge.

 

Shiro cannot thank Allura enough from the moment Keith appears again in the bridge after the Lions crashed. They both explained to Shiro and the other recovering Paladins; from when Allura firstly shoved Lotor’s interrogation aside to get to Keith’s soul, storing him within the tiny crystal of her circlet’s, Oriande bestowed further knowledge to manifest his soul to partake a more solid form, the secret talks between Krolia and Keith when doesn’t have enough energy to manifest and had Shiro kicked to the Green Lion.

 

And how the same tiny crystal he has in his right arm and his resonation with Atlas has now anchored him with Shiro.

 

He hears a pair of cadets walking past the door.

‘It’s so rare to even see Admiral Shirogane outside his office.’

‘Yeah, I would’ve thought the whole ‘saving the world’ will make him, I dunno, to be out there even more? Like superheroes.’

‘It’s like he’s married to his work. Or to his ship.’

 

He can hear a familiar scoff resonates in his office. Shiro smiles.


End file.
